Unconscious Mutterings, Week 254:

1. Interview :: job (yikes!)
2. Army :: marching
3. Unwrap :: gifts from a special person 
4. Evolve :: super powers! Mine are clairvoyance and telekinesis. What’s yours?
5. Bus :: money (grr, I hate buses.)
6. The real thing :: 
7. Streak :: meteor. Blast these blinkety-blankety clouds! I want to see the Geminids!
8. Gorge :: Oo, I need to name the one nearby…
9. Spicy :: Where? I love spicy foods! Love, love, love!!! Hot Tamales candy, too!
10. Course :: Stay the… (not good advice if you’re on the highway to hell, LOL!)

randomness…feed your mind and your blog

week of December 16 2007:

Happy Holidays random word association I say, you think:

1. santa: hat (they’re cute)

2. holiday carols: Nothing beats "I have a little Dreidel"

3. snow: Makes me think of the song "Snow" on the movie White Christmas with Bing Crosby. (That movie is hilarious!)

4. mistletoe: ick–don’t make me whack you with a bough of your Christmas tree!

5. season: holidays

6. candy cane: peppermint–good for upset stomach

7. eggnog: *gag*

8. presents: 8–one for each day of Chanukkah!

You know what’s funny…when Chanukkah was ended, I was surprised to still see decorations all around town. It wasn’t until I declared to my Girlz that I would dedicate a certain tree decked in all blue lights to the Prince of Arrakis as a Chanukkah tree that I realized my folly. Duh! They may be called Holiday decorations, but they’re still just for Christmas. Nothing like your friends laughing at you to set you straight. LOL!

Anyway…*sigh* I’m afraid I haven’t been able to blog much lately. Life sometimes, augh. First, I was sick, then things started piling up on me. Eek! It didn’t help my mental state when Yochanan was unable to email me for a while. Fortunately, the Prince of Arrakis has found a new internet cafe from which he can continue to share the wealth of his knowledge and creativity with me.  

Meanwhile, I’ve been deluging myself with music by Sarah Brightman, Bond, and Moby, reading Dune, and watching DVDs based on the books by James Herriot (loving it!). I just picked up Angel, Season 1 from the library–on impulse. I hope it doesn’t scare me too much.  

I’m also in the process of getting Israeli dancing started at my synogogue. Feedback has been very positive and enthusiastic. We may even take occasional "field trips" to the dance in Tacoma. Yay! Can’t wait to get started! I just need my CD back that Her Majesty was fixing for me.

There’s a big, all-store review coming up at work on Tuesday. It has the bosses in a tizzy, and their nervousness has infected me. I hope that’s not why my tummy was upset today. I thought I was passed that. I haven’t made myself physically sick by anxiety since junior high. (No, I still don’t take pressure well. I recall hide-and-seek with horror. "Blast it! Just find me already! I can’t take this anymore!") 

It seems whatever the Prince suggests I must do. Though I’ve been considering trying yoga for some time, it wasn’t until Yochi suggested it that I actually took the action off placing holds at the library on anything yoga.

As for other social matters, Imah and I have upgraded our phone plan to include unlimited texting and internet! Yay! We have also gotten myspace IM.

Just for fun, here’s what ringtones I’ve downloaded since getting my Katana:

Allegretto by Bond, Bad Day by Daniel Powter, Deliver Me by Sarah Brightman, Dragostea Din Tei by O-Zone, Explosive by Bond, Fuego by Bond, Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira, Imperial March from Star Wars, Israel National Anthem, Pink Panther Theme, Shut Up and Drive by Rihanna, Suerte by Shakira, Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, Phantom of the Opera, The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani. Nice, diverse set, eh?

I really need to keep myself well rested for that store review. Laila tov! 

I’m supposed to be celebrating my birthday tomorrow (proud Scorpio, right here!), but it looks like only one person is coming (my awesome friend, C4). She’s important enough that I’m not going to cancel (I mean, hey, she might blow up! LOL!).

So, I’ll blog about a more cheerful topic. I have an Israeli pen pal (or should I say "email pal, typing pal, keyboard pal"?). We’ve mostly been talking about books, movies, sci-fi in general and dancing. He’s been given an Italian mobster nickname "Triple Toe Tony" because he occasionally dances like a madman. (I’m jealous. My dancing nickname is Dizzy Devie. How boring. )

It got me thinking about nicknames. That and one I’ve recently earned myself. They’re calling me Spider Woman at work. I think I had that nickname at school, too, but junior high was so long ago.

Yay. Another nickname. I wonder if I can count the ones Yochi made up (he’s my pen pal). Eh, like I can remember them all.  

Anyway, eventually, I’ll be buying myself a website. I just don’t know what to call it. I’m leaning toward Duchess of Darkhaven, but Princess Yaffa is more Jewish. I like that. Then, I was thinking Princess of Zion. Jewish with a hint of Matrix. How cool is that? LOL!

Ah, well…I won’t have the money to spare before next year. Plenty of time to think about it. 

Oh! I almost forgot! I’m still working on the final draft of my novel. I’m re-separating chapters. While I was writing it, that wasn’t a big deal. So now, I’m actually making chapters out of a huge blob of fascinating story. Nice, huh? But slow. It’s all on the computer and I have limited access. Phooey.

*perks up* I’m going to email my pen/keyboard pal now!

Shalom! 

I’m exhausted from work. I wish I could have danced today. At least I got some stuff from the library: The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman and New Moon by Stephenie Meyer. I’m reading The Subtle Knife first though I yearn for New Moon because the former is shorter…and because the latter will probably overshadow the former again.

Right now I just want to rant. My friend Cara, my age, is married and has recently had her first child; Her Majesty is getting married practically a few days; C4 apparently has a new boyfriend. Then, there’s me. Spoiled, soured, speedily returning to my reclusive, anti-social self.

My depression has faded, but that old feeling of wanting to avoid people–in general, not my friends–has gotten a strong clutch on me. I’ve gotten horribly crabby toward Imah. I keep blaming it all on the stress of moving and our current financial fiasco. So, while my general mood has lightened, I bury myself in music and audiobooks and wear my sunglasses whenever I go out to avoid visual contact.

Ha! And Imah worries about me going goth. She has no idea.

Anyway, about my single-ness. I do not regret it. As I oo-ed, ah-ed, and screamed with my Girlz at the fireworks on the 4th, I was totally happy. The thought flashed through my mind that this was what I needed. I’m just not ready for a serious relationship. I’m immature, egotistical, and most of the time my head is in the clouds dreaming up fantasies (which, sadly, I rarely get to write).

I have fun teasing and flirting, but I don’t want a relationship…not right now. Maybe I have too much on my mind. Josi’s wedding, my housewarming party, Trin’s road trip, my plot to get all the friends I can to Sol Duc Hot Springs.

Then, there’s the little things that tug at the back of my mind: a new cell phone, a (certain) digital camera, pink carpet for my bedroom, a new website/domain,
new this and that for clothes. Nevermind the bills. (I’d put "LOL" right here, but I’m not in a laughing mood right now. How about a sardonic snigger?)

And my job. Oh vey. Imah and I just can’t seem to get along and I’ve pretty much given up trying. I just try not to lose my temper or give in to the despair that I’m too dreamy-headed to make it in the world on my own. Financially, I really need another job, and as Imah pushes me toward another clerical office job, the despair returns.

Argh. What I want right now more than anything is to follow my
passion and write. But if I could find a job that fits my other artistic obsessions…that would be fantastic. Seriously. Singing, acting, dancing, modeling, reading books for recordings…something along those lines.

I can only pray I don’t go stark, raving mad when Imah teaches me how to prepare a lease agreement tomorrow. Oh dear God. My inclination is to say: "I thought you were supposed to be a merciful God?" However, it could be worse.

Actually, I have it pretty damn good (if you’ll excuse the language). I live where I work. This not only saves me time and gas, but whenever the Boss needs some extra help, I’ll be available to earn some extra money. Good money, too. I live a few minutes from my Girlz and near several great places to shop or just hang out. My bedroom is the room of a princess (or, at least, it will be when I’m finished with it). I have a rockin’ awesome view from my room/the living room/the backyard–the awesomest on the 4th of July (hmm, maybe on New Year’s, too…). The physical part of my job (the cleaning) is sure to keep me in shape. I’m a few minutes from my Girlz. Oh. Did I mention that already? <3

I’d better get to sleep soon. Just a little bit of ice cream while my mind hovers in the worlds of The Subtle Knife…where the character’s greatest concern is Dust. *hugging my pink, winged unicorn* I wish I had a "daemon".

I do NOT want to talk about work. Moving on to the memes…

Friday’s Feast 132:

Appetizer
Where on your body do you have a scar, and what caused it? I think my most interesting scar would have to be the one I got in frog dissection class in junior high. Having an avid interest in cutting critters open and peering at their insides, I knew very well about instruments like scapels.

What was new in this class, however, was the awe-inspiring "safety cap." None of my personal instruments had anything of the kind. They were all just jumbled into cheap little kiddie backpack. Not once did I ever cut myself with those instruments (although I was occasionally poked by the capless needles). So, when I was confronted with the class scapel complete with safety cap, I was confounded. I tried in vain to remove the cap. I pulled and pulled, holding the cap end in one hand and the opposite end in my other hand.

Pull, pull, pull…slip! I jerked in surprise. At last, the scapel was free! But something didn’t feel right…mainly my hand. I can’t remember if I actually saw the slit in the skin, but it didn’t feel right so I pressed my hand against my thigh. After a minute or so of that, it felt better, and I continued my checklist upon the unfortunate frog.